I am rubber

nothing stays

no man no season

I can't stop seeing

the shimmering tunnel of a migraine

the unfocusing bird heart in my stomach

the stealth of stress & how we're bound to it

the endless

to-do list

concoction of obligation

how dare we do this

petal to petrified wood

the fossil of my childhood

too shallow an impression

to know if there were feathers or scales

or whatever we sprout to move through this world

I change nothing much

but a pebble alters the path of a river & all that

so each night deepens

the person shape in the mattress

the repeated marks on anything we touch

become smooth or shiny or hollow’


Nathan Wade Carter is a queer, non-binary, grey-a poet, musician, & artist living in Portland, Oregon. His chapbook is ROYGBIV (Ursus Americanus Press 2017). His favorite color is yellow. He likes plants that look like sticks. He is currently reading Murakami's book about running, Zulema Renee Summerfield's Every Other Weekend, The Sandman comics, and Kate Greenstreet's The End of Something. He is the editor & founder of SUSAN / The Journal. He writes and performs songs under the name Purrbot. Find him online at

Darla Mottram